S.O.L.

Sigh. Well, after flying down to San Diego and spending four hours under the incredible care and attention of Dr. Helen Hu and her associate, I’ve had discouraging news. I really have never felt in such experienced and confident hands and truly believe that Dr. Hu and Mr. Chen can help and have helped a lot of people including my referrer, but they had bad news for me. I knew from one of my first x-rays when I first was in pain that I have a deformity at the base of my spine (on the opposite side of my pain) and that this deformity is the possible catalyst of my pain. Over 44 years of living, I have compensated for this deformity and it finally caught up to me in the form of the bulging disc, degeneration and extreme muscle spasms. Basically, it’s too far gone and they don’t think I will ever be pain free. Not encouraging news.

Not surprising either. It has always astounded me that with every practitioner I have seen, they seem ultra-confident that with one to a few sessions, they should be able to help me work through my pain source and they always seem REALLY surprised when they don’t. It has definitely led me to believe that there’s no hope except major surgery (like putting in pins or something). I guess that’s true, so my new goal is to manage the pain and I will continue to work through that process on this sabbatical.

Dr. Hu was kind enough to give me a recommended action list including a detox diet to help me lose weight and strengthen my kidneys (she says that part of my chronic fatigue that I’ve experienced for years is because of “weak kidneys”). As already discovered, she said I should not hike, stand for long periods of time and to avoid excessive walking. She recommends yoga and swimming. Looks like I might have to cut my super-long hair. It’s always been a pain-in-the-ass for swimming. Gotta do what I gotta do!

More on acupuncture and this wonderful ancient Chinese practice called Tui Na when I get an interview with a practitioner!

Stop and Pet the Trees

I know I said this wasn’t going to be hippie dippy and certainly “Stop and pet the trees” falls into the category, but it comes from a hike I did many years ago with my friend Laurel. It was winter in the bay area which means GREEN. Lush green hillsides and glowing green moss growing on trees throughout the forests. We were hiking out on the coastal trail above Stinson Beach and we ran across a tree that had fallen long ago, but was somehow still alive. It looked like a big bench, but also absolutely glowing with lush green moss. Laurel (who IS a little hippie-ish) exclaimed that it looked like it had fur and went to “pet” it. Since then, when I hike in the wintertime I like to stop and pet the trees.

Today in trying to stick with my plan to walk or do yoga every day during my healing sabbatical, I drove to one of my favorite hiking spots. In the past week, I’ve discovered that hiking/walking in the bay area almost always includes steep and semi-steep inclines and declines. As much as I’ve always despised the uphills (I grew up in the Midwest flat-lands and am not accustomed to an uphill climb of any sort), I’ve discovered with my particular back pain that it’s the downhills that kill me. Not usually while I’m hiking which can be deceptive, but usually a few hours after I’m done or the next day. Frustrating since I LOVE hiking. I decided that for the rest of my sabbatical, I would have to forgo hiking if I’m going to attempt to heal, so this was my last hurrah for a month or so.

I ended up at Bon Tempe lake which is a four mile loop trail around a lovely lake on Mt. Tamalpais (Tam. for short) in Marin County. I recalled that it’s a pretty flat trail, so I figured it wouldn’t do much damage. The jury is still out, but oh! The trees were so PETTABLE! I’ll miss hiking and walking because it’s a great way to clear my mind, breathe fresh air and get some relatively easy (easier than running) exercise and stress relief, but I’m hoping that if I attempt to pick up swimming which I know will be much easier on my back, I’ll find that same sense of clearing of the mind I get from hiking and used to get from running. Not as beautiful and no fresh air, but I guess I can still take strolls with my husband through the flat sections of our neighborhood.

A little more about stopping and petting the trees. So much like stopping to smell the roses, in healing, I think stress-relief and slowing down are two really important elements. Consider stopping to smell the roses, the trees, the salt air, the fresh snow, the cut grass. Anything to take a tiny break, notice the world around you and de-stress.