Overcoming Adrenal Fatigue - Program Developed by Chris Kresser's Nutritionists - I Guess I'm not REALLY Going Nuts. I'm just N.U.T.S!

I've written a bit about the stress I've been under running an established business, starting this new business (The Healing Farm!), going through a personal family crisis, taking business classes, holidays and on and on. It's really amazing how chronic stress takes its toll no matter how well you take care of yourself with your diet and exercise. I would say I've been going through extreme chronic stress for at least six months - something I will strive to teach people to avoid once The Healing Farm is established, but something that may be unavoidable while I transition my career and try to start this new business. 

When Chris Kresser announced this webinar and program called "Paleo Rehab" that his two nutritionists created I felt like it couldn't have come at a better time. I signed up for the webinar immediately and then woke up yesterday morning feeling like I couldn't get myself out of bed. After completing a ten-week business plan class the night before, I needed to jump right back into room assignments and getting out final link payments for the Mayacamas Ranch retreat participants (plus I'm leaving for a week-long photo shoot out of the country tomorrow!). I was barely (and late) out of bed just settling in with coffee in hand for my morning routine of reading the news, answering light e-mails and my workout when my husband started ranting about something regarding the presidential campaign. As the "f" word started coming out of his mouth, I stopped him and said my psyche couldn't handle a rant at that particular moment. When he looked at me as if I lost my mind, I think I kind of did lose my mind. I broke down into hysterical crying.  This has happened a couple of times over the past few months so he kindly sat down with me and we talked about the amount of constant stress I have been under for the past seven months. He had some really great suggestions like "you need to start thinking about how much you're piling into your schedule" and the fact that I haven't been myself for months (among other things). When I finally calmed down, I opened my calendar and up popped the reminder about the stress webinar! Serendipity.

I decided to take it easy on myself and recognizing that my body and mind were near complete exhaustion, I read the news leisurely and decided I couldn't handle even my NYT Seven Minute workout. By the time I was done reading the news and answering e-mails, it was time for the webninar. I actually enjoyed two hours of much-needed cooking and cleaning time (something I haven't been able to do regularly for months - Brennan has been eating frozen pizzas multiple times per week for dinner for crying out loud) while I listened to Chris, Kelsey (both of whom will be speaking at the Mayacamas Ranch retreat) and Laura talk as if they were using me as their worst case scenario patient. if you went through the N.U.T.S acronym with me -  and here it is from Chris' site:

4 key factors that determine how we respond to stress

So what determines the intensity of our response to a particular stressor? Research has identified four key factors: (1)

1. The novelty of the event
2. The unpredictable nature of the event
3. A perceived threat to our body or ego
4. A sense of loss of control

Some researchers and clinicians use the acronym N.U.T.S. (novelty, unpredictability, threat, sense of no control) to refer to them. I think that’s perfect!

...I was experiencing all of the above only over multiple events and months. I was also interested to learn that as someone who is in peri-menopause, the symptoms of chronic stress and adrenal fatigue can be intensified and I'm more vulnerable. So I'm not really losing my mind then. I think I'm in some severe adrenal fatigue experiencing these symptoms:

• Weight gain (I eat with stress and although I eat well, to make it worse, sometimes I can't keep my mitts off of tortilla chips! I get organic, but I'm guessing they are fried in industrial seed oil)
• Chronic back pain is starting to creep back in
• Extreme fatigue and although I'm still an overall happy person, depression seems to be creeping in
• Brain fog - which didn't help with my ten-week course
• Cold hands and feet (Brennan commented on "Jack Frost Nipping at My Nose" last night too)
• Skin breakouts
• Panic, agitation and anxiety
• A sense of hopelessness and doubt
• On and on the symptoms matched up with what Chris, Laura and Kelsey were discussing

After the webinar a strange thing happened. I decided that despite it not being a good time for us financially, I needed to tackle this chronic stress and fatigue immediately so it wouldn't cause long-term harm so I committed to going through the program (at my own pace). When I finally got into the office, I answered a phone call from one of the Mayacamas Ranch attendees who told me how inspired she was by what I was trying to do with The Healing Farm. As I've planned these retreats, but especially the Mayacamas Paleo Reset Retreat, I've heard from so many people around the country that this is something that is needed and wanted:

•  A program that focusses on a paleo reset type diet in which one learns to reduce systemic inflammation, therefore reducing or even eliminating symptoms of chronic pain and illness
• A program that is reasonably priced
• and mostly a program that a features realistic non-intense exercise program (and after listening to Chris yesterday I was wishing I had a Tai Chi instructor coming)
• In a beautiful place where one could go and unplug, rest, gently exercise and eat a meal plan that is non-toxic and inflammation-reducing 

This phone conversation completely validated what I've been trying to accomplish in the past year with The Healing Farm concept. I don't want to kill myself pursuing it, but if I can find the right people to build this dream with me, maybe I can make it a reality. A glimmer of hope set in again yesterday afternoon and I was again thinking of the impeccable timing of the webinar. I decided then that I still didn't have the energy to dig into final payment setup on The Healing Farm site, so went over our personal finances, sorted and filed piles of papers from my desk and then went back into my cozy home to spend the evening with my husband eating the nutritious food I cooked during the webinar, quiet time listening to music together and then a little "business time" on a Wednesday night (a little reference to "Flight of the Conchords"). 

I wish I could say I woke up feeling like a million bucks this morning, but I managed to get myself out of bed at a reasonable time, managed to do my workout and get to work at my regular hour and before tackling The Healing Farm Mayacamas Ranch booking stuff, I'm going to walk out onto the avenue in the warm sunshine to run some errands before leaving town tomorrow. I think it's going to take a while until I can get myself back to the "normal" Julie, but the smartest thing I think I can do for myself right now since the stress won't stop until end of April is sign up for the "Overcoming Fatigue" program and get some much needed guidance and support for my road to recovery. Here is the link in case you want to check it out:

Thank you to Laura and Kelsey (and Chris) for doing this important work!

MOO Blog Post - TEDx Talk About Finding the Work You Love

I was so pleased to see that the affordable printing site MOO posted this article on their blog. Not only was I inspired by this article and Scott Dinsmore's TEDx talk, I'm also always impressed with businesses that have a mission of offering a good service at an affordable price. It goes way back to Martha Stewart heralding the idea of bringing good design to the masses. Whether you love her or not, she purposely catered to a non-luxury market. She knew there was a middle market that had good taste and didn't want to go broke pursuing lovely things! 

I want The Healing Farm to be the Martha Stewart or MOO of the spa and retreat industry. I have my Week-long Paleo Reset Retreat at Mayacamas Ranch advertised as "A spa-like vacation without the spa prices". That is the business model I'm striving for with The Healing Farm and I was inspired by Scott's TEDx talk because I have been working so hard toward "Living my Legend". I am absolutely taking a huge risk switching careers at the age of almost 50, but not only can I not physically do what I do currently anymore, but I've had this nagging feeling I'm supposed to do more! I want to provide people with practical and affordable solutions for their long-term wellness and I've worked hard the last few years, doing all the things Scott talks about in his talk to get to the place I'm at now. Will I fail? Will I succeed? I don't know, but I was inspired to hear Scott say "Learn your own impossible." Sometimes I think what I'm trying to do is impossible for me. But to Scott's point in his talk, as I say to myself "How can I do this?" I'm also finding myself saying "How can I not?".

I read online when I was researching for this post that Scott was tragically killed this past fall while hiking Mt. Kilimanjaro with his wife. You know, you always hear the saying: If you died tomorrow are you happy with your life today?  I'm sure Scott never imagined he would die at the age of 33. But dang. It looks like he would have emphatically said YES to that question right before he died. It's such a strong message to us all to strive to do what you believe in. Imagine the impossible and maybe you too can change a life or two - or millions. 

I love this quote Scott ends his talk with:

“First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win.” ― Mahatma Gandhi.

I might be in the "ignore" phase right now, but I hope to build The Healing Farm one day to bring practical, affordable wellness to the masses in beautiful places around the country and perhaps the world. Impossible? Only if that's what I believe.

New Year's Day Labyrinth Meditation

I posted this picture to Instagram and Facebook today but was inspired to write a little (or a lot!) more about it.  

Per my previous blog post, I took three weeks off over the holidays and was contemplating whether it was irresponsible or a much-needed healing break. About a week before Christmas when I was already in Chicago I found myself saying to someone that I was already wishing 2016 was over. They mentioned this was not a very good way to go into a new year. Right they are! My feeling actually hasn't changed about 2016 because it's going to be a challenging year full of very big changes for me. I will be leaving my current business of fifteen years behind and will continue to try to establish The Healing Farm through phase one which is The Healing Farm | Retreats. I will start (and hope to finish) writing my business plan this year and will host several retreats in the process while I learn the business. All of this while contemplating turning 50 in November, going through peri-menopause (hence the menopause retreat in February) and continuing down the road of letting go of childhood because my parents are aging. On top of it, I never had children so although I went through that mid-life crisis a couple of years ago, it's still hard to accept never becoming the nurturing mother I always wanted to be.

Whew! Heavy stuff, right? Well, New Year's Day I decided to take advantage of the good weather, left my husband at home and went for a hike in solitude. When I got to the normally deserted east bay park, Sibley (I usually hike during the week and it's just me and the dog walkers) I found it was FULL of New Year's Day hikers. Instead of being bummed out about all the people, I embraced the fact that there were so many people out hiking on what could be a day of lounging with a hangover and watching football on TV. I enjoyed all the family groups lingering together knowing that grandparents, kids and grandkids would soon be separating to get on with their normal lives. By the time I got mid-hike to an area a little off the beaten path I didn't even consider the thought of being alone. I figured there would be people everywhere. This is when I came to the series of labyrinths. I knew they were there and I've done them a few times in the past. As I walked past, I noticed nobody was around. I hesitated because I figured soon someone would come walking through or a dog would run circles around me, but my spirits were lifted and I was feeling more hopeful about getting through the year to come.

I made a little plan and went in. As I mentioned in my social media posts, many people think a labyrinth is a maze. It's not actually. It's meant to be a meditative path and they are all constructed so there's no decision-making while you walk through. You simply follow the path and it leads you in and then out again. I decided on the way in that I would meditate on my mantra which is "peace" on the inhale and "love" on the exhale. When I got to the center, I said a prayer for myself and the year to come. On the way out, I said in my head all the names of people and groups of people that I care for and will be a big part of my life in 2016. As I released myself back out of the labyrinth I said "The Healing Farm" out loud feeling like I was leaping myself and The Healing Farm strongly into 2016. Magically not one person or dog walked by during my time in the labyrinth. In fact when I decided to stick around and take a few photos, nobody appeared either. Only when I put the phone in my pocket and was about to walk off did a handful of chattering teens appear around the bend. Serendipity or Divine providence? I don't know, but it made me immensely happy.

One of the things I say about The Healing Farm is that I don't want it to be too new age-y or hippie dippy or focus on any kind of spiritual practice. I know this sounds all about that and in a lot of ways California has rubbed off on me, but meditation, prayer, opening your mind and letting your mind be free has so many benefits and I don't think walking a labyrinth can do any harm to anyone who will try and embrace it!

I sincerely hope myself and The Healing Farm will thrive this year releasing into the world a message of practical and affordable health and well-being. Will I crumble in the process? I don't know, but opening my mind and relaxing a bit has given me hope and courage and I will take that with me to whatever outcome is at the end of 2016.

Happy New Year!

I Took Three Weeks Off- Irresponsible or Much Needed Break?

An oak tree on a hike in the east bay hills. 

From The Healing Farm blog.....

I had a really tough fall in 2015 and against everything I want The Healing Farm to teach, I ended up working 6-7 days a week for about three-four months. As I try to transition my life and career and move closer to my 50th year and all the challenges one faces (especially women) during middle age, I got pretty overwhelmed. I'm very fortunate to have a huge support network of family and friends and managed for the most part to eat well and keep up with moderate exercise through it all. But I needed a huge break.

I went to Chicago to visit my family for the holidays and stayed almost two weeks. Was it the last time I would spend Christmas in my childhood home? It was definitely the last time for a cherished Christmas Eve extended family tradition which has been going on for well over 70 years. I wanted to be there for a good chunk of time not only to immerse myself in what may be the very tail end of being a daughter, but I wanted to spend long quality hours with my parents, siblings and extended family. I barely checked e-mail the entire time I was there, I didn't do one blog or instagram post and it was heaven. I read three books!

Then I came home and I couldn't get myself back to work, no matter how limited it was going to be the week of New Year's. I just couldn't. I'm fortunate enough to own my own business(es) and can take this kind of time off at this time of the year (it's the wedding slow season in CA!), but as I flew home and watched the woman next to me type away at her laptop the entire flight (as I drank wine and finished my fourth book), I wondered if I was being irresponsible. After all, I'm starting a new business. I should be posting all the time, completely on top of social media, etc, etc. But is that really what I want?

As I explore this new business and career path in 2016, I need to consider seriously what I want my next twenty + years of work to look like. Sometimes I think, to heck with it! I want to do something easy! I don't want to think about work all the time! Often, I half joke about wanting to be the bartender on the Amtrak train - only I'm not really joking! But sometimes I believe I can build The Healing Farm concept in which I build a culture at which employees can have a decent work-load with decent pay. At which people can job-share and take time off for long, much-needed breaks. I want to give that gift to future THF staff and I want to build a business at which my executive support team can truly support each other so that we can have that too. I don't think it's un-achievable. The Healing Farm should practice what it preaches. And when one comes back from a long true break, one should feel inspired, creative and ready for more!  So here's to 2016! It will be a telling year for me AND The Healing Farm concept. Who knows where I will be at the end of the year, but I will do my best to cultivate The Healing Farm concept, nurture it, and hope to watch it grow and thrive!

THF - Cultivating Practical Wellness.