I was hiking recently when the title of this blog post came to me. I'm sure it's been said a hundred times (or maybe a thousand) by others way before I came up with it, but it struck me as profound. Especially for the midlife process I'm currently experiencing.
As I was hiking I was thinking about the audacity of parts of my manifestation board. Here I was awed by nature on my hike and thinking of great things other's have done with their careers and lives in the past and I suddenly felt a wave of guilt and a sense of "who do I think I am?" go over me. I thought of some of the things I had put on my board including:
- "Gamechangers 500"
- "Corner Office" by Adam Bryant
- "Conscious Company"
I mean, really. Who do I think I am? Sometimes I fantasize about being interviewed for the regular "Corner Office" interview in the Sunday New York Times. As the founder and CEO of The Healing Farm I would talk about inspiring others with average means and education to aspire to become extraordinary human beings and to reach for bigger dreams than you can imagine. When I read "Conscious Company" magazine, I can't help but think that if I realize my true dream of The Healing Farm, THF will most certainly be featured as a prime example of the "conscious company" of the future. A "For Benefit" company that invests back into itself, its team and its community championing fair business practices and acting as a model for the future of affordable and practical wellness around the country. An example of healthcare of the future! And of course, as The Healing Farm expands and THF outposts pop up throughout the country in places like appalachia, the deep south and middle America where we're not just preaching natural preventative wellness to the choir, but we're also providing employment opportunities to those communities most hurt by lost manufacturing jobs and the crippling effects of addiction (big breath and run-on sentence), how could it not make the "Gamechangers 500" list? Gamechangers 500 by the way is like a new kind of Fortune 500 list for companies that are NOT profit-driven. Companies that top this year's list:
I really want The Healing Farm to make this list as a leader in the future of sustainable, affordable and practical healthcare.
WOW. As I said, pretty audacious. Especially for a midwestern girl of average (to below average) means with an education in fine art and a very average record of self employment!
But also on that manifestation board, I have included words like:
- For People and Planet
I feel like these words represent who I am already and who I strive to be on a more practical and short-term level. A little more modesty represented here.
The manifestation board came out of a group activity at the last Healing Farm retreat. I wanted to have an art meditation session on the retreat agenda because I was inspired by a guest at my last multi-day retreat who wanted to share her art meditation practice with others. I was inspired after the last retreat to create some art in nature so I wanted to share the practice with the guests at this new retreat. It was a few weeks before the retreat that someone mentioned doing a "manifestation board" and that within a year, two of the most important things on her board were coming to be (a husband and a child). It's now over two years since she completed her board and she said she has never been happier.
This inspired me to suggest that guests bring magazines to contribute during the art meditation just in case someone wanted to do one of these boards. I could not believe the excitement and turnout over this project. It was so inspiring to see my guests quietly going about searching for words and pictures that might represent what they envision for their lives in the future. What a perfect project at a women's health retreat that focussed on midlife transitions. I didn't have time to do a board of my own at the retreat since I was facilitating, but took a much needed week off at home after the retreat and on inauguration day 2017 after a long walk in my neighborhood I got out my materials and began. What I created was so personal and inspiring to me it was overwhelming. What a hopeful thing to do on a day I felt was a little scary for the future.
What is represented on the board is my hope for myself, my marriage and my husband but overwhelmingly my hopes for The Healing Farm. It's representative of something that I can't let go. No matter how scared I am. No matter my lack of confidence. My perceived lack of education and smarts. My lack of experience and financing. It's something that's burning inside of me. It's the passion, the healing, the realization and the "best self" that I've been working on bringing out and discovering for the past five years. It's the emerging butterfly represented. It's the eagle that is the future me. It's my hopes for my future, the future of wellness and the future of the world. It represents peace, growth, joy, connecting to better self, for people and planet, quality time and gratitude. It is my future.
It's audacious, but as I realized on my solo hike the other day: If I don't reach for the stars, how can I ever break that glass ceiling for myself and others? The day after I made my board I decided at the last minute to participate in the women's march in Oakland. I happened to have materials left over from the manifestation board project but had no idea what I wanted my first "activist" sign to read. I remembered that one phrase I had included on my board the day before was: "Women Can Transform the World". I changed it to "Women Will Transform the World". Added some peace signs, a heart, a smiley face and the colors of the chakras (something else I'm learning about recently) and off I went to march for women, for equality, for hope in the future and for peace.
I'm reaching for the stars in my midlife renaissance and I want to inspire others to do the same. I want to discover my true potential. I know it's there somewhere underneath all that fear and lack of confidence. It's slowly emerging. The butterfly is emerging and the eagle waits in the wings.
Photos are from: Demonstration day, hike that inspired the glass ceiling quote, manifestation board making at The Healing Farm retreat and some pics from the urban Oakland hike I did on inauguration day 2017 which was also the day I made my "manifestation board". I can't recommend this project enough.
You can also read about a THF retreat client's experience making her board at the retreat:
The Healing Farm. Cultivating Practical Wellness.