A Couple of Tips for Big Change: Physical and Great Life Changes

I’ve communicated a lot on this blog and in my newsletters about my own midlife crisis, why I have been inspired to facilitate two menopause retreats, and why I was inspired to put together the upcoming fall retreat focused on “The 3rd Act” with Patricia Cavanaugh and Ellie Klevins. I started my own midlife crisis in my mid-forties, when I was not only coming to the realization that having a child was never going to happen for me, but also years of chronic health conditions were adding up and really bringing me down. I was also discovering that I wasn’t really enjoying what I was doing for my career anymore. Everything seemed to be coming at me at once and adding the heartbreak of aging parents just about put me over the top. Needless to say, the second half of my forties was challenging and I realized I was in a “midlife crisis”.

I’ve done a lot since that discovery. I’ve healed most of my chronic conditions through change of diet and exercise and because of that work was inspired to start The Healing Farm | Retreat business. Since my own healing journey started, I dreamt of an affordable wellness retreat property where I could pass along practical life-changes to prevent and/or alleviate chronic illness and conditions. The Healing Farm concept was born and the “midlife crisis” started turning into my midlife “renaissance” as I started calling it. I know I’m still in midlife crisis because this personal transformation has been anything but easy, but I’ve taught myself enough tools at this point to navigate without freaking out too much.

 When a dear friend told me about the book “Hidden Blessings” by Jett Psaris, PhD I went online almost immediately to buy it. I have to say that I’ve never been into “self help” books - until I went into midlife crisis. The book “Fail Fast, Fail Often” by John D. Krumboltz and Ryan Babineaux was the first book I read that truly inspired me to not be afraid of change. I’m a creature of habit and needed to be inspired by people who were telling me that change and failing is not the end of the world. In fact, it can be the catalyst for a truer and more meaningful existence. This simple midwestern girl was suddenly inspired to challenge herself, find greater meaning, and create a legacy. If my legacy wasn’t going to be a child, then damnit, I was inspired to try to create a legacy of helping others to heal.

That’s what “Hidden Blessings” is about. Moving through midlife crisis to find the hidden gem within. It definitely doesn’t sugar-coat the midlife process, in fact when I read that most midlife crises last 10-12 years my stomach did a little lurch. That means I may not even be halfway through mine. That’s pretty depressing. But the book gives tools to guide you through and Ms. Psaris talks about midlife crisis being more of a metamorphosis rather than a crisis. This I can relate to. She quotes George Elliot:

 “It’s never too late to be who you might have been.”

Ms Psaris says: “....[the guidance given] comes from my own midlife experience and that of others, draws on many traditions and schools of thought to help us respond fully to the transformative invitation of midlife. That invitation is to step away from taking life literally - and perhaps, superficially - to discover a deep and profound underlying existence. Midlife invites us to surrender the narrowly defined view of ourselves and others that prevails during the first half of life, so that we can become more complex and multi-dimensional beings capable of living the largest lives possible moving forward."

Truth be told, I haven’t yet read the entire book, but I’m very much looking forward to what the author suggests and also what the ladies of The 3rd Act will teach us about transitioning in midlife during The Healing Farm’s fall retreat at Mayacamas Ranch. I’ve been so inspired by this book that I’ve already recommended it to friends realizing that more and more as I open up about my own midlife crisis, my friends are wanting to share their challenges too. It really does help to know that you are NOT the only one.

Another thing I’ve been sharing a lot recently with friends is Magdalena Wszelaki’s  “Cooking for Balance” online workshop. As I hear more and more people talking about stress, fatigue, stomach issues, among a multitude of other things, I’m more and more inspired not only to get The Healing Farm wellness retreat property off the ground, but I’m also inspired to continue to share tips about how we can heal a lot of our chronic issues ourselves just through changing our diet. Sure, it wasn’t JUST diet that helped me to work through my long-term chronic conditions (read here about how I worked through mine), but I’ve learned it’s a really important start and Magdalena’s workshop is informative and practical, plus the workshop video/format makes it easy to follow. I watched the free intro video last fall and bought the program right away - it’s four parts with a primer and very important to watch EVERYTHING. I even watched the free intro video a second time to refresh my memory before I started the program.

Needing to understand what various foods and allergies do to our bodies from a nutritional and scientific perspective is important and Magdalena makes it easy to follow. The cooking part of it is also helpful with charts of do’s and dont’s for various conditions, recipes, food guides and how-to videos. It’s a little overwhelming at first, but if you are tired of being sick and tired, it is so worth it. Having all this information in one easy to follow format is great. It’s like one-stop-shopping for affordable and practical long-term healing (like The Healing Farm concept!). Way easier than researching it all on your own online AND cheaper (and quicker) than going through traditional western medicine and medications to manage your health issues.

One of the reasons I didn’t start the workshop for months is because I’m running two businesses. One of the important things I’ve learned in this midlife journey is re-organizing my time and priorities which is how I found the time to take the workshop. I was finding that I was obsessing over the news and reading it with my coffee every morning. It was getting overwhelming and depressing so I decided that I would allow myself to read the news one weekday morning and continue to dive in deep with my Sunday New York Times. The rest of the mornings I would dedicate to doing something inspiring and worthwhile with my morning coffee. So every morning, I set my timer for half and hour, climb back in bed with my bulletproof coffee (you’ll see why I drink coffee with fat after you take the workshop) and I listen to a small part of the workshop.

My favorite tips so far:

• Testing for an appropriate amount of stomach acid using a simple baking soda solution (I’ve had trouble with indigestion since my twenties so this is important to me).
• Re-building stomach acid when it’s too low by drinking warm water with lime, lemon or apple cider vinegar while your stomach is empty.
• The importance of seed rotation and ridding your life of toxins for balance of hormones.
• What truly are some worthwhile nutrient-dense foods (like seaweed) and sardines.
• Adding sprouts to my salads (did you know a large handful of broccoli sprouts is the nutritional equivalent of a whole head of broccoli?).
• An in-depth study of why my diet needs to be so low in sugar (bad gut bacteria feeds on sugar for one thing!).
• Why fats are so important for brain health and satiation after meals and why NOT to be afraid of fats - contrary to what I’ve believed all my life.
• A simple meditative breathing technique that I now incorporate into my almost daily meditation practice - something I’ve easily fit into my day by doing while I’m brewing coffee.

All of the information I’ve been getting through this program I’ve also learned from other sources like through my work with Chris Kresser, the retreats I’ve put on and the Keto Clarity book, but I feel like Magdalena’s program is so concise and realistic I highly recommend checking it out.

Another good place to learn about some of this is the fall 3rd Act Healing Farm retreat! Join us for a look into midlife and nutritional tips for this transition as well!

The Healing Farm - Cultivating Practical Wellness!

"Let Your Heart Speak to Other's Hearts" | THF Women's Health Retreat

Thank You to All Involved in The Healing Farm's Women's Health Retreat!

"Let your heart speak to other's hearts." Found on a yogi tea bag, yes. But it's one I saved for a couple of years and had posted on my magnet board in my office. After the women's health retreat I truly found out what that meant to me in my quest to find myself and my new career journey. Obviously it spoke to me in my time of great change and I felt moved to to keep it. As I watched several women working diligently on their "manifestation" boards at the retreat and then thrilled at the results, I realized I wanted to do one too. I didn't get a chance to complete it (I barely started going through magazines when I had to run off to set something up for the next scheduled activity - or three!) so when I took my "staycation" the week after the retreat ended, I had a chance to work on this worthwhile exercise. The yogi tea bag quote finally found its place. So did the fortune cookie fortune that's been taped to my refrigerator door for a couple of years ("Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.").

What the incredible group of women at the retreat showed me is that I truly do want "my heart to speak to other's hearts". On day one of the retreat when I was introducing myself and the team, I mentioned that I am not a specialist. I'm a generalist. That some of the women at the retreat would surely know more than me about health and nutrition, but what's becoming increasingly clear is that I like bringing people together. I want to bring educators and practitioners together in a beautiful setting to teach natural health solutions participants can build into their everyday lives. I want to share the joy and healing journey in my heart with anyone who will join me and I realized that I could actually do that in this new career journey. I learned as much from the women at this retreat as they learned from the talented educators and practitioners I brought together in the beautiful place that is Mayacamas Ranch. So at long last, I want to share my absolute gratitude to the participants, the team and Mayacamas Ranch!

The Participants

Thirty beautiful women and five team members. I was blown away by the enthusiasm, sharing, encouragement, breakthroughs and loveliness of the group of women who came together for this retreat. We welcomed women of all ages even though the retreat was focussing on menopause and indeed we had a wide range of ages. My guess? Maybe from early 30s to early 70s. What a wealth of knowledge coming from these wise and wonderful women. Old friendships were deepened, new friendships were forged. We ate, we hiked, we laughed and we cried. We had mothers of young children who weren't even close to menopause but who wanted to sincerely learn how they could best prepare their bodies for big changes (or who just needed to rest with clean food, exercise, fresh air and a digital detox). We had mothers of young children who were getting close to menopause, we had women who had never had children, we had grandmothers. We had cross-generational inspiration, we learned together and we had fun! We were all already talking about the next retreat so I need to get one on the calendar!

If you want to read a participant's take on the retreat, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion when I read Sarah Kay Hoffman's blog post. She wrote it the day after the retreat (even with THREE kids to tend to at home!). You can read it here:

Dr. Amy Nett, M.D., Functional Medicine Practitioner and One of the Smartest People I've Ever Met

Geez this woman knows her stuff. Of course I shouldn't have been surprised that one of Chris Kresser's staff clinicians at The California Center for Functional Medicine would be so knowledgeable. At last year's retreat we had the brilliant and passionate Chris Kresser himself as our keynote speaker and were all blown away by how knowledgeable his staff nutritionist Kelsey Kinney of "Healthy Gut, Healthy Life" was. How fortunate were we this time around to listen to two well-planned and informative lectures by Dr. Nett about what you can do to best prepare your body for menopause through nutrition and also about hormone balance. I wasn't surprised that Dr. Nett added several new patients to her calendar during and after the retreat! THANK YOU Dr. Nett!

Emily Boorstein: Life Coach and Creator of the "Inner Fitness" Program

Life Coach Emily Boorstein of the Inner Fitness Program

This was Emily's second time speaking at a THF retreat and there's a good reason for it. I recognized through my own journey through midlife that it wasn't just my body going through major changes. I felt like in addition to Dr. Nett's contributions about the physical aspect, we needed to also cover the emotional experience of midlife. Emily graciously covered life-lessons learned through motherhood for all the mothers in the audience, but all of those lessons learned early on through her own personal growth translated well into how to gracefully and solidly tackle the emotional roller coaster that is midlife and menopause. Every time I hear Coach Emily speak, I pick up little nuggets of information that later on end up applying to (pick one or all): a wake up in the middle of the night panic attack (something I never experienced before menopause), a stewing in the shower about something my husband said that made me mad, a sitting in traffic and wanting to flip someone off or even an emotional transition to a new president. My favorite tip from Emily that I use all the time in my life is how to not panic. If I feel some kind of emotional turmoil coming on and want to react, I can now reach into my "Coach Emily toolbox", step back and consider whether this is something that is going to end the world or if it's something I can truly tackle without false emotion. I will forever be grateful to Coach Emily for her support, enthusiasm and contributions. She helped me through my true midlife crisis when I realized I was never going to be a mother and she will always be in my heart for opening hers.

Amanda Crutcher: Yoga Instructor/Yoga Therapy/Meditator Extraordinaire

Amanda Crutcher knows anatomy and ohhhh how to work with those yoga therapy balls! She cares so deeply about her participant's safety and bodies. Probably because of her Iyengar yoga background, Amanda really focusses on the physical aspect of yoga making sure her participants understand the postures and the anatomy behind them. It's really good training - especially for beginners and to prevent injury. She also brought out yoga therapy balls at her last class. From a practicality standpoint, using the balls at home (safely) is great. It's like being able to give yourself a massage and is great for deeply loosening those knots. I learned this technique at Rancho La Puerta with tennis balls, but the various sized yoga therapy balls were even better. Amanda also graciously opened up her one hour twice daily meditation practice to all the attendees. This is where her deep spirituality came out. Her calm presence and grace surely comes from her deep meditation practice. Something I hope to explore with her in the future.

Diane Gibbs: Massage Therapy and Feldenkrais

This was Diane's second THF retreat as well. Her talented hands were in great demand. Who wouldn't want a glorious massage by well-trained hands while on a retreat? Diane ended up completely booking up, so I was thrilled to bring on my dear friend (and someone who has done massage on me countless times) Angela Bausch. Thanks so much to Angela for bringing her experienced hands to our retreat!

Diane also brought her love for and practice of Feldenkrais to this retreat. As at the last retreat, a lot of the participants had never heard of Feldenkrais, but most experienced beneficial effects through this gentle movement practice. 

Mayacamas Ranch!

Once again I can't thank the staff at Mayacamas Ranch enough. Miguel once again knocked the paleo ball out of the park with his cooking, the rest of the staff was warm and welcoming and the property - even in the wintertime - was as peaceful and beautiful as ever. Seeing the milky way in the clear winter night sky, the fog in the valley on our early morning hike, the steam coming off of the pond, hearing those funny frogs loud and clear every night when going to bed - and that cozy bed! You can't go wrong with Mayacamas Ranch as your home base for a retreat!

And Then There was Karma.....

Karma Moffit and his Tibetan Bowls

How do you top off what you know may be an enlightening weekend for your participants? I always say I don't want The Healing Farm to be too hippie dippy or new age and then I bring in a man named Karma. But, I've been going deeper into my own meditation practice as I move through this midlife of mine and all its changes and have been inspired by the crystal bowls meditations I've experienced at Rancho La Puerta. Since I was introducing various forms of meditation into this women's retreat I thought it might be nice to top off the last night with a crystal bowls meditation. My intention was to have Danielle Hall of Sound Embrace perform, but she ended up being unavailable. Through other contacts I found this man named "Karma" who plays tibetan bowls. He performs all over the world and had even performed at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco for a labyrinth meditation a few nights before the retreat. Now this is a man who has lived life and he didn't hesitate to tell us all about it. I love great characters who embrace life and whatever comes their way and although I might have been able to do without the high pitched conch shell blowing, it was great to be in a room surrounded by women I brought together, surrounded by deep vibrating sounds delivered by someone who has so obviously embraced life fully and taken the less-traveled path. Karma's heart truly speaks to other's hearts. I was so grateful he joined us to top off the retreat.

So what did I get out of The Healing Farm's Women's retreat? Hope and especially ENCOURAGEMENT for the future of The Healing Farm AND This Manifestation Board Illustrating my Hope for My Future and the Future of The Healing Farm.

I think it's no coincidence that this board came out of me on inauguration day, 2017. My hope is for a bright, inclusive and healthy future for all.

As many times as I've muttered "Namaste" at the end of a yoga class, I've never known what it meant and never bothered to take the time to look it up. Coach Emily taught us that one of the translations is "The light in me sees the light in you."  I feel like we all experienced this at the women's retreat. I certainly experienced sharing my heart and felt like my guests shared theirs with me. I think I'm ready now to take the next steps with The Healing Farm. It's still scary and I still have doubts but when a dear friend sends you a link to Sia's "The Greatest" when you express fear of the next step you listen to her heart speak to your heart and so it goes and so it goes. Let your own midlife be a midlife renaissance no matter how scary it might be. Moving beyond your fears and your comfort zone will help you breakthrough to be your "greatest". 

See you all at the next retreat! 

All of my love and heart - Julie

The Healing Farm - Cultivating Practical Wellness!

Retreat Client Testimonial!

I feel so fortunate that I had such a lovely group at my first multi-day retreat last April at Mayacamas Ranch and ended up loving everyone so! Suzanne has now been to TWO of my retreats including the Paleo reset last April and is now set to join me again at the Women's Health Detox and Hormone Balance Retreat which is set for MLK weekend - the 13th through the 16th of January. There are still about eight spots left to fill, so please join us. I would love to see you "on the list"! Says Suzanne of the last retreat and in joining this one:

"How much I wish I'd had a retreat like your last one when I was starting peri menopause. All the valuable information and collection of superb folks you bring together! The speakers and classes - all professional and exceptional as well as the beautiful, rustic, chic setting of Mayacamas Ranch made it just perfecto-o! Loved everything about your retreat(s) including your generosity and beautiful attention to detail, but especially the people you bring together. Simply perfect!"

I'm so looking forward to seeing Suzanne at the upcoming retreat and hope to meet you there as well!

Women's Health Topics This M.D. is Not Shy to Talk About!

Dryness? Low libido? "Urgency"? And we thought hot flashes, weight gain and emotional ups and downs were difficult enough to encounter during peri menopause and menopause!

Since I am lucky enough to do marketing photography for Rancho La Puerta (the #1 destination spa in the world according to Travel and Leisure readers for four out of the past six years), I was at "The Ranch" (as it's lovingly called by its many repeat guests) last week. Given that I'm producing a women's health retreat in January, I was thrilled to learn that there was a gynecologist on site who was to be speaking about women's health issues that are not so easy to discuss. Even with your gynecologist! 

Dr. Lauren Streicher, M.D. practices in my original hometown of Chicago and was NOT shy about discussing "uncomfortable" women's health issues. In fact she was downright funny which is why she makes these topics so approachable. It's no wonder she's been a guest on Oprah!, Dr. Oz and Good Morning America (among others).

I'll be ordering her book and will have it on hand at The Healing Farm's Women's Hormone Balance and Detox Health Retreat January 13th - the 16th at Mayacamas Ranch (a few spots left!) since she does talk a bit about natural solutions for many issues. Among my favorites......

Why not combine a solution for the three issues I mention above? Vaginal dryness (about 50% of women experience during and post-menopause), Low Libido (can be partially due to discomfort due to the following AND preceding issues) and urinary incontinence (about 30-40% of women in middle age experience stress incontinence). 

Did you know that the more you have sex, the more maintained lubrication is? Did you know that strengthening the pelvic floor (yes, kegel exercises) will intensify your orgasms and also help with urinary urgency (the stress kind). Keeping up with maintenance "down there" is the number one way you can naturally keep these issues at bay during your middle years! 

Dr. Streicher speaks in WAY more detail about all of these issues both during her talks and presumably in her book, but my favorite (and based on the discussion at dinner that night and breakfast in the morning - everyone else's too) is a device called "intensity" created by a company called "Pour Moi". Apparently most women who try to do kegel exercises are not doing them correctly and not only that, don't keep up with them long enough to properly strengthen the pelvic floor in order to alleviate these chronic midlife health issues. 

Believe it or not, you can see a certified pelvic physical therapist who can properly help you strengthen your pelvic floor (and in some cases, Dr. Streicher does refer patients to them), but the original Pour Moi device that was created helps you strengthen your pelvic floor for a lot less money AND in the comfort of your own home. The device vibrates when you are doing your kegels properly and after 4-6 weeks (4-6 days a week for ten minutes a day) your pelvic floor will be sufficiently strengthened and in most cases, the stress urgency will be gone. PLUS, you should be experiencing more intense orgasms which presumably will make you want to have more sex, which then helps keep everything healthy and lubricated. Voila!

But wait - it wasn't the original Pour Moi device that had everyone talking. Ahhh. Then Dr. Streicher showed us a picture of the "intensity" version. The company got smart and realized they could help women get into more of a routine by making it more fun. Why not add some external stimulation and add an orgasm to the exercise plan? Ha! Brilliant. Not only would you remember to do (and look forward to doing) your exercises, but you can also have fun while doing them AND help keep it all lubed up down there. Now this made everyone giggle and then seriously discuss!

According to Dr. Streicher, in most cases, there's no reason for 50% or more women to experience these common symptoms of aging and there's REALLY no reason we should feel uncomfortable discussing these issues. ESPECIALLY with our gynecologist! This is one of the reasons I wanted to create a women's retreat. I want us to come together and discuss these issues that so many of us experience in a comfortable setting amongst other women so that we can bring that discussion openly out to other women. Let's not be shy about these things!

I hope you can join us in January to hear Dr. Amy Nett talk about an ancestral functional medicine approach to natural solutions for women's health issues during middle age.

The Healing Farm - Cultivating Practical Wellness!

Amanda Crutcher Joins the Women's Health Retreat Team as our Yoga Instructor!

I'm so excited to announce that Amanda Crutcher will be joining our January Women's Retreat team as our daily yoga instructor! 

Amanda contacted me a few weeks ago because she was passionate about my vision for The Healing Farm and recognized in my mission that I was truly filling a void in the retreat industry: A yoga retreat with meat? A paleo themed retreat that didn't feature killer exercise programs but focused more on an elimination diet to teach folks who are struggling with chronic health issues ideas about functional medicine and natural healing? I hear this from a lot of people and am trying to fill that niche! 

We met soon after our initial contact at my 50th birthday party. I asked if she would jump in to teach a short yoga class at Slide Ranch to kick off my birthday festivities. Driving all the way from Sebastopol to Slide Ranch to teach in the chill of the coastal fog, I instantly loved her passion and her warmth and sincerity. We met for lunch a couple of weeks later and again felt a great connection and I invited her to join the women's retreat team.

Amanda has a diverse background in the healing arts and as a dedicated twice daily meditator will open up her meditation time to allow our retreat participants to join her. If you saw my previous blog post about meditation you know that I only meditate ten minutes a day so when Amanda told me she meditates twice a day for an hour each "sit" I couldn't believe her dedication!  We will provide a spot for her twice daily meditations and she will discuss "dropping" in during her restorative yoga session on the first day of the retreat. Don't be intimidated! She stresses that you can pop in any time within the hour and meditate for as long as you like. Plus if you're new to mediation, Dr. Nett and I will will be offering a couple of short guided meditation sessions too!

Amanda says about joining the team:

"I am very excited to be joining the staff of The Healing Farm for the January 2017 Women’s Health Detox and Hormone Balance Retreat, where I will be teaching the daily Yoga classes, and offering private Yoga sessions. There are few places that I would rather be than on a retreat immersed in healing practices, people and foods!

The Healing Farm’s mission to merge agriculture, evolutionary health, and mindful wellness practices resonated with me like a load clear deep Burmese gong! My life’s journey is about vibrant health. As a child I was blessed to be mentored in nature connection while living in the west village of NYC. From age 6 to 9 my schooling focused on studying the local ecosystem in western NJ, raising ducks from eggs, tapping maple trees, dying wool with plant dyes to weave, digging clay to make pots, while learning to read, write, and look at the world mathematically. This gift of loving the outdoors inspired me to ski, cycle, rock climb, backpack, sail, play and swim.

My other childhood love was the circus, my British Mom gave me the book, “Mr. Galiano’s Circus” and my world was changed. I juggled, tumbled, rode a unicycle, jumped and flipped endlessly on the trampoline, and even attended circus school on the Bowrey in NYC. My determination to build the strength to take it to another level wasn’t there, and instead my embodied way of being got channeled into college level competitive Ultimate Disc, dance and mid-distance running.

My work in college focused on studying biology; my thesis was on inflammation and nutrition. I continued my studies at the New England School of Acupuncture, where I became a licensed acupuncturist in Massachusetts. Currently I am pursuing a masters degree in Human Nutrition and Functional Medicine, continuing the exploration of inflammation, natural cures and traditional healing ways.

Finding Yoga in college was coming home to a place I had missed. I love the challenges Yoga offers, such as, balancing in handstands, or simply breathing and being present; deepening my abilities to be aware, balance, feel, and strengthen. Now the magic of Yoga is most powerful in calming my nervous system in the throws of our modern wired life. In this pursuit I have also devoted myself to the practice of Vipassana meditation as taught by Sayagi U Ba Khin and SN Goenka. I am grateful for the valuable guidance I have been given. My Yoga asana practice has been inspired by the teachings of BKS Iyengar and his many students, as well as Patabhi Jois. Currently my Yoga teacher is Jill Miller, the founder of Yoga Tune Up.

Jill has synthesized the teachings of the masters, within the context of modern humans. Integrating ancient wisdom with innovative props, Yoga therapy balls, and addressing current global human movement issues.

My teaching is inspired by practice, both on my cushion, on my Yoga mat and in life. I am delighted to bring this training to the January retreat, to share tools to gain a calm, balanced, strong, flexible and healthy body. It starts with nourishment from the earth; It is then our loving attention that transforms that food prana into connection with our hearts, each other, and back to the earth. May we each find that gracefully! May we help make peace prevail inside and everywhere."

Welcome Amanda!!!

"Not too Hippie Dippy" but Offering Meditation and Yoga at the THF Retreats? Disconnect or Smart?

When I first started dreaming of The Healing Farm retreat property and wellness ranch concept I always said that I wanted to offer "tasteful and affordable" retreats. Not too high-end where they become unaffordable to most people, but I also wanted to build a property that is lovely and austere offering programs that aren't too "hippie dippy" and intimidating. I've been told that using the term "hippie dippy" might insult some people. It's kind of like referring to myself as being "efficient" because of the German in me. I can say it because I'm German! And I feel like I can poke fun of the hippie dippy culture because - well - I'm a little hippie dippy myself!

I've not been to Spirit Rock Meditation Center mostly because I've not had a meditation practice in the past (pretty good reason), but even as I've started dipping my toe into meditation, I figured I would be intimidated and not feel like I belong because I don't have a long history of meditation in my life or even at this point a deep and regular practice. But as I've moved in the past couple of years into starting this new business called The Healing Farm and The Healing Farm | Retreats, I've also been introduced to the challenges of midlife and peri-menopause. As I mentioned in my post about turing 50, this is not an easy time to be making big changes!

As I was approaching my last multi-day retreat; planning/facilitating, putting myself out there and doing something I've never done before, I was met with some great challenges. Two things happened during this time:

1) I had a photo assignment at Rancho La Puerta (I photograph there once a year or so for their marketing materials) and brought my cousin Annie as my guest. Annie has a regular meditation practice and while we were there I decided I should check out RLP's introduction to meditation. One of my fave instructors (JayDee!) was teaching that day and he taught me some very important lessons about meditation:

• That there will ALWAYS be thoughts moving in and out of your brain. It's constant, but what we're trying to do with meditation is learn to look at those thoughts in a detached way without judgement, without letting our emotions get in the way and simply observing them and then letting them go. This made me feel like I wasn't failing every time I've tried meditating in the past. It's normal to continue to have thoughts pass through your mind when you're meditating and that simply learning to let them go by returning to your breath (or chant or prayer or whatever you decide to use) is the key to living more in the present and not allowing your thoughts to consume you.
• He admitted straight away that he's a type A personality (and if you've ever met JayDee you could figure that out in an instant) and that if he can teach himself to meditate and to have a regular practice, just about anyone can! Although I'm not a type A personality (far from it) this also made me feel a bit less intimidated about the fact that I felt like I couldn't control the constant flow of thoughts in my head.
• He taught us tricks to bring your mind back into the present and to the breath. One of the practices that I still use regularly is counting to ten (repeating the number with both your in breath and your out breath). This practice helps me so much as my mind drifts to realize that maybe I'm at 11 and oh! that means my mind has drifted and I need to come back to my breath and my one through ten numbers).

2) At the end of our week together at Rancho La Puerta, Annie and I went to the "Oak Tree" space and meditated together for twenty minutes. It was such a lovely experience and such a nice way to end our week together. Annie then sent me a book that I have found incredibly helpful in teaching myself meditation: Thich Nhat Hanh's "The Miracle of Mindfulness" (an introduction to the practice of meditation). This book was key in starting my practice. Another book that has helped me get a little further into my practice is Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart".

I still consider myself a "beginner" in my practice since I really only meditate 10 minutes a day (15 if I add in my deep breathing practice) and usually only about four days a week. This is fine for me right now and even with that tiny bit of practice, very early on I realized that when I woke up during the night in a panic (this was a combination of peri-menopause and planning that first big retreat) I could calm myself down and soothe myself back into sleep by practicing my one to ten counting meditation. It was amazing to me how quickly this worked for me and I still do it every time I wake up in the night. Panic is not part of my nights anymore because I now know how to tame my thoughts, put them aside and not let them consume me.

So to celebrate the end of my wedding photography season, also a private (me only!) celebration of turing 50 AND as a start to visiting retreat centers as I dive into learning more about existing retreat centers and various programs out there, I decided to be brave and signed up for a one day women's retreat at Spirit Rock. It was called "Women, Wisdom and Meditation" and our leader was Grace Fisher. One of the first things Grace said to us was that she was attending a retreat at Spirit Rock last year and she felt a sense of not "belonging". She then told us that this was despite the fact that she has been teaching at Spirit Rock for 17 years! For someone who was at her first retreat at Spirit Rock and who was feeling like a little bit of a "meditation impostor" this shocked me but as I continued to listen to her talk, I realized that many women feel this sense of not belonging and thus we started our retreat day understanding that we all belong. As human beings living on this earth and in this universe we are ALL connected and we should ALL feel like we belong. 

I've recognized that meditation and prayer have been practiced for more than a couple of millennia for good reason. It calms us. It reminds us that there is something greater than all the thousands of thoughts that go through our heads constantly and that we really ARE all connected on this earth and in this universe. Meditation isn't just for the hippie dippie and prayer isn't just for the practicing religious. They both can be a great source of calm and comfort in lives that aren't perfect, that include lots of stress, emotion and difficult times. Therefore, I decided in planning this upcoming multi-day retreat that including meditation, both guided and long "sits" would be an important addition to the program. In navigating this midlife transition not only do we need to learn how to manage our physical self but we also need to learn how to manage our emotional self too.

In my next post, I'll be introducing the yoga instructor (Amanda Crutcher!) who will be joining us for the upcoming Women's Health Retreat which will feature lectures by Dr. Amy Nett, M.D. (one of Chris Kresser's first clinicians). Dr. Nett will teach us natural and functional medicine practices for navigating mid-life and menopause. We will also be hearing from Coach Emily Boorstein on navigating the emotional side (I just bought Emily's mother's book at Spirit Rock: "It's Easier Than You Think" by Sylvia Boorstein) and I will talk a little bit more in the next post about how we will build meditation into this retreat. I hope you will join us in January!